Thoughtful Tuesday ~ Life

There are days in my life when it feels like I'm living in the middle of a reality TV show. And there are days I wish I were. Not for the celebrity factor . . . no, for the documentation factor. You see, I have seen too many times how quickly our memories can fade when we age . . . and I don't want to forget this wonderful life I'm living.

Just yesterday, as I was dropping my girls off at school, I experienced an all too familiar situation. They kissed me and bid me farewell for the day and I sat and watched them walk into the school. No big, right? Watching my Angel walk into that big school by herself (they used to walk in together, but now I guess she's big enough to do it herself *tear*) I realized that she's not a little girl any more. She has grown so much. I said aloud, "She's getting so big." Big Girl was still in the car and just kinda shrugged it off. I said to her, "And you are practically an adult already." She just smiled and walked off . . . unaware of the emotions I was experiencing.

So on my drive home, God and I had a little heart to heart. I asked Him, "Why does it have to go so fast?" He ever so gently reminded me that this life is not the one that is most important. He reminded me that this time with them as children is precious, yes, but more importantly, crucial. Crucial to their success as adults. Success in what? Being workers and harvesters for the Kingdom! It is my job, my calling if you will, to raise them up to fear the Lord and to make Him their #1 priority. My job is to lay the foundation . . . and He will do the rest.

I only hope that my job thus far laying their foundation is good enough to stand the test. I cannot know the answer to that. I can only trust that I am doing what He has called me to do, as their mother. Today, He tells me I'm doing fine . . . just the confirmation I needed. Thanks God . . .

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. Psalm 42:1

Thoughtful Tuesday

Have you ever stopped and thought, "wow, where did the time go?" I often find myself wondering where the last day has gone. It seems that the older I get, the faster time flies. It seems like just yesterday I was walking around very pregnant with my almost 11 year old. Where have those years gone? They seem like such a blur. I can remember many things, but sadly there are many things I don't remember. I wish I could just slow things down. . .just a little bit. I know I can't, so I'll just do my best to enjoy my time with my girls before they grow up and begin their own lives.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34

Change your focus...

As I've stated before, my Big Girl's birthday is soon. I decided to celebrate her and the things I love about her not only on her special day, but also the 10 days leading up to it. Get it? 11 days, 11 years old? Well, I have learned a few things through this process.


1. I've got a pretty fantastic kid. No really...she's smart, beautiful, funny, kind and most importantly, loves Jesus with all her heart! Who could ask for better!?!


2. I've got a bit of work to do to be the mom she needs me to be...I'm not trying to be negative, but I know there's much room for improvement...and I'm ready to work for it.


3. It's really hard to focus on negative things when you are looking for positive, good traits about someone. While thinking on things that I love about my Big Girl, I find nearly impossible to get irritated, annoyed or angry with her about the few things in her that aren't so positive. (not negative, just not the most positive)


I challenge you to try intentionally focusing on positive things/traits about a person with whom a relationship is not easy. Write something about the person each day and see if your focus doesn't change and the relationship becomes easier...and more pleasurable...for both parties.


Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

Trial and error...a good parenting philosophy?

I am a mother to two young(ish) children. I say 'ish' because it feels as though the next time I close my eyes, I'm going to open them to find both of my daughters grown, married and with children...especially my oldest. She is on the threshold of tweendom...eek! Her birthday, as she keeps reminding me, is in 19 days. She will be 11. Where did those years go? She has grown into a very beautiful, talented, God-fearing young lady. This makes my heart smile! But, as with all things in life, with the ups come the downs.


She is my oldest. Every step she takes forward, we are taking together...for the first time. Her as a child/tween/teen, and me as a parent of said child/tween/teen. This journey is hard for her...but it's hard for me, too. What makes it even harder, for me, is that I feel as though I have to work so hard on having a relationship with her. Not because of the stage of life she is in, but it's always been this way. My bond with her doesn't feel natural. I don't know if it is because she is my first child. Or if it's because I was young when I had her. Or some combination of the both...but either way, I have to work hard at feeling connected to her. And I know if I feel this way, she does too...and that hurts me.


That being said, I've committed to working hard to make sure my children feel loved at home, by me. I know that this is crucial to their social development, education and spiritual growth. I want them to be successful adults who don't struggle in showing and receiving love to and/or from others. I began reading The Five Love Languages of Children a few years ago, but never got completely through it. After a rough time with my Big Girl, I decided to re-read it to help me show my children how much I love them. I was sure I had both of the girls figured out. I decided to give them a little quiz to pinpoint their primary love languages. Neither of their responses were exactly what I expected. Angel's were close, but Big Girl's were WAY different. I thought I wasn't expressing love to her in what I thought was her primary language. But what was really happening was I was wrong about her primary. Oy!


Now that I know which direction to go, I can try to better express my love to the girls. This will still be a difficult journey because their primary languages are not mine. I will have to step out of my comfort zone to show them I love them. But isn't that what parenting is all about? Being uncomfortable for the sake of your children's well-being? Leading by example?

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2

God's best gift

While I watched my girls walk into school this morning...something hit me...how incredibly blessed our family is. Hear me out.


My girls are blessed to have one another. They are blessed to have such a close bond. Sure they fight all the time, like siblings do, but when all the arguments are over and the bickering is cast aside, they love each other. They protect one another. I am so glad they have each other. I have some great siblings myself. While I'm not as close to them as my girls are to one another, I am still blessed to have them. I don't think I could imagine either of my girls being an only child. They compliment one another. They each bring something new and different to our lives. I am grateful that they have such a bond. It sure has come in handy with this move. They are one another's only playmate right now. They are one another's only friend. It warms my heart to know that they will never be alone in life. They will have God, and one another.


I also am blessed in this. I have two amazingly smart, beautiful, talented, lovable, individual daughters. God sure knew what He was doing when He placed each of them in our lives. I'm not too sure I would know what to do with a son, but a daughter I can do! They bring so much to my life daily. Sometimes they drive me crazy, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am becoming the person God created me to be by being their mother. I just pray that I am blessing them as much as they bless me.


Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Ps 127:3 MSG

Rock and a hard place...

With my entire house torn apart, boxes loaded onto the truck and us 'living' in a hotel for the next few nights, this move is slapping me in the face. We will pull out of the town that has been home for the last 11 years on Monday. I know we will be just down the road, but my girls don't quite get that concept. My Big Girl has a pretty good grasp on the fact that she can keep touch with her friends. 


My Angel on the other hand doesn't get it. She's 7. She's already randomly started crying several times. When asked what she's crying about, she states that she doesn't want to leave her friends. Unfortunately, with the strain of the move that I am dealing with, I don't really have the patience for random crying spells. I don't have the time to just sit and talk through all of her emotions right now. It makes me feel like a horrible mom. How do I juggle catering to the needs of my children, while trying to take some of the strain and stress off my husband by making sure certain things are done so he doesn't have to worry about them? I'm sure there is a lesson in this too, and I will learn it eventually. I just hope that happens before my kids suffer and I burn myself out. I'm ready for a vacation by the pool...


I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

Growing up too fast

Ugh...now that that is off my chest...why do kids want to grow up so fast? I remember wanting so badly to be an adult, but now, I just wish I could be a kid again. The freedom of adulthood looks so nice...but, as a kid, what you don't see, is the responsibility and lack of time to do fun stuff that comes right along with it. Something I don't remember, however, is my generation being so 'sexualized' at such a young age. I don't remember my mom having to talk to me at age 10 about dressing modestly. Or talking to me about what to say to a boy when he says he wants to be my boyfriend...or kiss me. These are things that I, mother of a 10 year old, am dealing with right now...like today. As in, I just had a conversation with my Big Girl about what to say to a boy who is asking her if she is ever going to kiss him. I had to tell her that she needs a plan. She needs to know what she's going to say in these kind of situations and she needs to let me know what and when she's going to say. Did I mention she's 10!?!?! I don't think I signed up for this part of parenthood....LOL! I guess this is when I rely VERY heavily on Jesus...


Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Heb 11:1

Time with my Angel

My Big Girl is spending the night with a friend tonight. That always makes for some super fun with my Angel. It's not that often that I can spend time with either of them individually, so I take full advantage of it when it happens! Well, Angel being the girlie girl she is, loves to get her nails done, her toes done, dress in pretty clothes and of course get her picture taken! So tonight, we did her nails (hands and toes), put some make-up on and had a mini photo session. She's just so stinkin' beautiful...of course I'm just a little biased. Well, here are the result of some of my favorites. Most are unretouched...she's such a good subject!

She's so precious

This is the only one I edited...love it!!

It's hard to believe she's not a baby anymore, but this picture proves it!

I think this one is my favorite!

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Matthew 19:14

Our next generation...

I now know how my mother felt when I was younger. Watching me grow up, not knowing where I would go, who I would marry, how I would live the rest of my life. It sure can get overwhelming if you let it. I quite often think about what my girls will be when they become adults...who they will marry, what will their profession be, where will they live. There is one thing about them that I know I don't have to worry about. I know they will be in heaven with me. That is comforting. Considering this earth is only our temporary home, it makes me worry less knowing that my girls will come home to me (and Jesus). Sure, sometimes I will lose focus and worry about the time my girls have on this earth, but I pray I will always remember to re-focus on Jesus and what He has for them. Kinda takes the stress out of parenting, ya know? I am grateful that my girls have a head start on this journey back Home compared to where I started. Thanks God for these beautiful gifts, and help me to always remember that they are not mine, but Yours.

Next generation, God-fearing CRAZIES!!

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Rain, rain go away!

Ok, so I really am thankful for all the rain. Considering when we first moved here, we were in a severe drought, I am grateful for the rain! But there has been icky, cloudy, rainy weather for the last week. I'm ready for some sunshine!!! I guess I will have to wait until the end of next week to get some. :(


On another note, today is my Angel's birthday. It is truly hard to believe that she is 7 already. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with her. I was sooo excited! When the day finally came for me to meet her, I was so nervous.  Let me start by saying that she was quite the stubborn child...even in the womb. She  didn't want anyone to know her gender. I would have bet my kidney that she was a boy...but nope, out came another girl. She has always been a lovey child...and still is. She is laying her head on my shoulder as I type this. <3 We had a pretty fun day celebrating her special day. We shopped, walked through lots of puddles, ate lots of pizza and played lots of games....oh and we ate ice cream too! (and a few left over cupcakes) I am so blessed to be a mom to two great, beautiful girls. I really do love my life!!!

She's always had a pretty big personality :)

My Angel today on her 7th Birthday!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Ps 127:3